Now, quality time may not necessarily be in the form of sharing meals, but because as Filipinos we enjoy eating and do spend time on the dining table, why not take advantage of the situation? Although my daughter is still too young to actually "share" a meal with us; I try to make it a point to be home at a certain time so I can spend time with her and put her to sleep. If need be, I can always work again after she goes to bed. When she's old enough, I'm all for making family dinners the quality family time it should be, and see to it that it becomes the most important part of our day.
FaMealy Day is celebrated every 4th Monday of September. This year, that falls on September 24, and I encourage everyone to go home early and spend time with your families on that day. But don't let that day stop you from making it a daily habit! I'm sure we won't regret it :)
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| Me, Robbie, and Saia :) |
WHY IT’S
IMPORTANT FOR FAMILIES TO SHARE MEALS
Philippine
Daily Inquirer
September
18, 2012
When was
the last time you ate together as a family? Was it last night or at breakfast
today? Or, as is the reality with many Filipino families today, was it a week
ago, on the night off from the graveyard shift of the member working in a call
center? A month ago, when the head of the family was home from abroad? Or is it
once a year, when the working mother is able to head home from the city to her
hometown, where the family she supports is staying? Once upon a time, eating
together on a daily basis as a family was the norm. But today, for many
families, this has become the exception, rather than the rule—sometimes by
choice, often by circumstance.
It’s
easy to overlook the effects of a family meal, especially when the parents are
busy trying to make sure there is a meal on the table in the first place. But
in 2001, the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (Casa) at
Columbia University came out with a decadelong study which “consistently found
that the more often kids eat dinner with their families, the less likely they
are to smoke, drink or use drugs.”
This led
to Casa’s creation of “Family Day, A Day To Eat Dinner With Your Children.”
Every year, on the fourth Monday of September, parents and children are
encouraged to go home early and have dinner together. Family Day, while being a
once-a-year event, is a reminder that frequent, if not regular, family dinners
throughout the year can make a significant difference in the fight against
addiction and substance abuse. Here in the Philippines, this advocacy was
adopted by Monde Nissin, the makers of Lucky Me!, in October 2007 through the
launch of “Kainang Pamilya Mahalaga!” a program aimed at building a stronger
nation by developing stronger Filipino families. This Sept. 24 will be the
fifth annual “FaMealy Day.” (Yes, even our advocacy slogans are more fun in the
Philippines!)
‘FaMealy
Day’
FaMealy
Day is supported by Presidential Proclamation 1895 and a partnership with the
Department of Social Welfare and Development and the National Committee on the
Filipino Family. To commemorate the fifth anniversary of “FaMealy Day,” Francis
Kong, a noted inspirational speaker and leader, has published a coffee-table
book, “Famealy Matters,” to celebrate the “magic of sharing meals” and invited
50 families to share their own stories. Among the families he invited are those
of civic leader Ballsy Aquino-Cruz and my fellow PDI columnists Cathy
Babao-Guballa and Dr. Queena Lee-Chua. I was delighted to be invited to be a
part of it as well and quickly sent in my piece. Allow me to share an excerpt
from it with you today:
“Family
meal times are a daily but always special time in our home. Every day, as long
as Miguel is in town, he makes sure that he joins us for at least one meal. And
each time, we are pleasantly surprised by our children and the things we
discover about them as we enjoy our meals and the company. “Dining together is
a tradition we learned from our respective families and are happy to continue.
In my family, dinner together every night was a must. Since I’m an only child,
dinner was an intimate gathering which helped strengthen our bond as we
discussed every detail of our day. Today, these intimate bonding sessions
continue in our weekly Sunday lunch.
“Meanwhile,
you’ve got to raise your voice if you want to be heard above the din and
laughter that come from each of the 20 members of the Zubiri family, all of
whom are expected to show up every Sunday night without fail. “As our own
family is still fairly young, there is never a dull moment when we sit down.
There’s our two-year-old son racing around the table in the belief that he is a
race car, while our four-year-old daughter may come down to the dining table
dressed in a fairy costume. “During one instance, I remember how Migs and I
turned to each other in surprise when Adriana, who was then only about
two-and-a-half years old, recited the whole prayer before meals on her own. Or
more recently, how we laughed as Juanmi asked for more “chu-pop,” or what we
know as ketchup.
“One
day, our children will grow up. They will not remember the food they ate nor
the topics of conversation. But I hope that from these meals together, they
will gather lessons and values every day to strengthen them and get them
through their daily challenges. I look forward to watching them grow from
across the table into strong, compassionate adults, secure in the love of their
family. “But when that day comes, I will certainly miss my darling with her
fairy wings sitting next to her dad and the sight of our little race car
zooming around us.”
No
foolproof recipes
In a
perfect world, eating together regularly would be enough to guarantee a life
free of addictions for our children. All parents would also be home from work
every day at an early enough hour to spend time with their children.
Unfortunately, we live in an era when families are forced apart primarily due
to economic reasons. And obviously, there is also no foolproof recipe for
avoiding the dangers that lurk in our children’s lives. Addiction and substance
abuse can hit any family, regardless of how well they try to keep it out. I am
sure we all know of wonderful and caring parents who were always there for
their children and yet, were shocked to realize that drugs had found its way
into their home.
But we
are also fortunate to live in an era when there are alternatives and solutions
to the modern family’s plight. I’ve never been a big fan of high-technology
gadgets and programs, but seeing how applications such as Skype can bring
families together, despite distances and time differences, has made me see
technology in a different light. For families on opposite ends of the world,
regular and frequent Skype dates have become their regular Sunday family lunch
or dinner. In our culture, we are also fortunate to have the benefits of
extended families, whom working parents can entrust their children to in order
to let them grow up in a loving family environment.
Meanwhile,
for families on different time schedules, dinner can be replaced with breakfast
or whatever meal is most convenient for everyone, especially since everything
is open 24 hours nowadays! I think the operative word is “frequent,” not
necessarily daily. What is important is that during those meals or times
together, parents strive to STAR, which is defined as:
S-
Spending time with my kids by having dinner together
T-
Talking to them about their friends, interests and the dangers of drugs and
alcohol
A-
Answering their questions and listening to what they say
R-
Recognizing that I have the power to help keep my kids substance-free!
(www.casafamilyday.org)
There is a lot of truth in what the founder
of Casa, Joseph Califano, says. Our “drug problem is not going to be solved in
courtrooms or legislative hearing rooms by judges and politicians. It will be
solved in living rooms and dining rooms and across kitchen tables—by parents
and families.” This Sept. 24, and as often as possible, I hope you will be able
to join your family for a meal. With every small and simple step we take to be
there for our kids, we also effectively help push drugs and alcohol a little
farther from their minds, and hopefully, out of their lives. /cs
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